Month: March 2018

Yogapoo

While out walking in the snow last week I saw this notice pinned to a post

Yoga for Mutts March 2018

Some local being clever in a funny kind of way, or funny in a clever kind of way?

But appears that it might have been memed through social media. A North Devon businessman, Rob Braddick, up in Westward Ho! claims to have started this Yogapooing already (click this link to DevonLive)

OK. It’s about time something was done. It’s not just the dog. And its not just the dog shitting. Its the owners of these dog shitting dog shitters that need to be made to face it. (Notice I’m referring to the phenomena not with the nice nomenclature of polite poo, but calling it as the nasty actual shitty thing it really is)

So could ‘YogaPoo’ be the way to clean our streets? Probably not. But in a helpful spirit of playfulness what about extending the concept to other forms of alternative cleansing exercise? We could instigate:

ShiatsuShitsu
Not solely confined to shitty shaitsus. Other crappy yappy little mutts are also included.

ChiGongDung
Like YogaPoo only slower.

TaiChiTurd
Like ChiGongDung but even slower.

CackAsthenics
Whipping up a bit of a sweat in a Onesie

KundaliniKrapping
The sublime ecstasy of excrement removal.

JudoJobby
Roll over and take a bow.

FacialFaeces
The dogs face rubbed in it. Along with its owners.

DogDooDooDance
Get couples to doo doo it together while jigging away to the song “Who Let The Dogs Out”. Woof. Woof.

DogShitBumpsie
Reinserting the brown log back up its dog.

RollerBladeRumpPuddy
In one swift swoop, the poop is scooped.

Picture & Words: Ian Nisbet.

A dapper line of gents

From where I am, on the top of Wallaford Hill, I look across and see these neatly estranged row of trees.

Stand of Trees 19th March 2018

Zooming in, they look like they’ve been deliberately, intricately, and intentionally, lined up side by side with one another.

Stand of Trees 3 19th March 2018

To achieve some kind of sculptured show off theatricality.

Like a stand of stagely arranged fussy gentlemen.

Stand of Trees 5 19th March 2018

Next time I’m up there I’ll have to walk over the field to get a closer look, check them out.

Or maybe it would be best to leave them be. Let their stand alone peculiar singularity stay unchecked, and intact.

Some Snow Animals

Numerous wondrous creatures were concieved by the ‘Beast from the East’ this weekend.
A most motley medley of snow spawn.

This Faun was laid low by the pale white afternoon sun

Sheep snow 19th March 2018

It looked at me, yawned, stroked its goatee beard, then gave me the cold shoulder.

This Siberian Snow-Snake was slipped out, stone-cold, from under a blue bush.

Snowform 19 19th March 2018

It lay perfectly, powerfully, still.
I had to creep by imitating the silence of a snowflake.

I almost stepped upon this nesting Ice-Owl. It had 3 little owlets (or icelets) frozen solid inside its frosty feathers.

Snowform 14 March 19th 2018

Its cavernous eyes stared at me with icy disdain.
I dared not stare back.

Of course whenever and wherever you go for a walk there’s bound to be
a doggie yelping and yapping towards you

Sure enough, a dog leapt out from a hedge
The infamous Snooowdle
This one had just done a snowpoop.

Snow Peeple 2 March 18th 2018

Fortunately theres no need to pick it up.

Unlike the little shits done by corporeal canines
A snoowdles poo is odourless and entirely harmless.

And, thankfully,┬áit’ll have melted into thin air by tomorrow.
(the poo – and the snoowdle)

Sexy Snow

An afternoon walk up Wallaford Hill towards Dartmoor.

Snowform 2 March 19th 2018

The limpid sun was shining snowdrifts into curvilinear assortments.

The hush hush lolling and lulling across hedges of multiform mutants.

Snowform 7 March 19th 2018

The higher up I went the deeper and more serpentine these snowforms became.

Snowform 9 March 19th 2018

On the top of the hill the snow mushroomed up over the hedgerows like poppy puffballs.

Snowform 6 March 19th 2018

Great white woolly mammoths curlicued over to suck you under.

Snowform 5 March 19th 2018

Globular spongilla appeared to be engorging and expanding.

Snowform 19th March 2018

Sucky spirals carved like the wet withins of somewhere too intimate.

Snowform 18 19th March 2018

Snow is sensual. Snow is sexy.

Snow Playtime

Look who’s trying to scare the sun away.

Snow Peeple 4 March 18th 2018

It that Dim Dong dum

He got a right hand man

Snow Peeple 11 March 18th 2018

Called Mr Klonk

And this be Mrs Bloddwen Blowbundles

Snow Lady 1 edit

Back Garden Birdies Dinner Lady of Park Road

more snow lady

Serves out more than ample portions do Bloddwen.

Can’t stand to see any of her sweet little birdies go hungry.

Snow Sunday

The “Beast from the East” is back. Not being quite as beastly as it was a couple of weeks ago.

I opened the kitchen window this morning to a snowed in world again.

Snow Sunday March 18th 2018

Thro the open living room window flake-awake snow flew flurries straight onto my face.

Snow Sunday 5 March 18th 2018

Up in the silver birch were 12 stoical starlings (and a couple of other smaller birds)

Snow Sunday 6 March 18th 2018

I took some vids of the starlings chatter chittering away together (will look at them later to see if a little film might be possible)

In the afternoon I’m walking out the backend of Buckfastleigh on the lane towards Hapstead, with soft swirls of snow still falling, finessing, and filigreeing the trees and bushes.

Snow Sunday 2 March 18th 2018

Oodles of freshly laid snow powder puffing the hedgerows.

Snow Sunday 3 March 18th 2018

The snow reforming everywhere near and far into re-enchantments of light white.

Snow Sunday 4 March 18th 2018