Animals

Seal at The Weir (+ cormorants)

I saw a seal in the swollen river Dart by Totnes weir this afternoon.

Cormorants were feeding (and resting up) too.

Must be rich fish pickings in the water fast torrenting down off the Moors.

I was ‘sealed’ in a bubble for an hour, absorbed in the flow.

Filming & Vid: Ian Nisbet.

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Limping Lunching Sheep

Ashburton Sheep Nov

An hour before the dentist. What to do? Go and see some sheep.

Even though I was 300 feet away I attracted plenty of sheepish interest.

There were some rather silly sheep stood around (in my mind silly and sheep are synonomous)

This sheep appeared to have six legs.

Ashburton Sheep C Nov

Other sheep appeared to be having trouble with their legs.

Limping about on sore feet.

Ashburton Sheep Nov

Some sheep could barely stand up.

So they sunk down on bended knee.

Ashburton Sheep D Nov

To carry on tucking in to grass.

Even if limping, lunching must go on.

Yogapoo

While out walking in the snow last week I saw this notice pinned to a post

Yoga for Mutts March 2018

Some local being clever in a funny kind of way, or funny in a clever kind of way?

But appears that it might have been memed through social media. A North Devon businessman, Rob Braddick, up in Westward Ho! claims to have started this Yogapooing already (click this link to DevonLive)

OK. It’s about time something was done. It’s not just the dog. And its not just the dog shitting. Its the owners of these dog shitting dog shitters that need to be made to face it. (Notice I’m referring to the phenomena not with the nice nomenclature of polite poo, but calling it as the nasty actual shitty thing it really is)

So could ‘YogaPoo’ be the way to clean our streets? Probably not. But in a helpful spirit of playfulness what about extending the concept to other forms of alternative cleansing exercise? We could instigate:

ShiatsuShitsu
Not solely confined to shitty shaitsus. Other crappy yappy little mutts are also included.

ChiGongDung
Like YogaPoo only slower.

TaiChiTurd
Like ChiGongDung but even slower.

CackAsthenics
Whipping up a bit of a sweat in a Onesie

KundaliniKrapping
The sublime ecstasy of excrement removal.

JudoJobby
Roll over and take a bow.

FacialFaeces
The dogs face rubbed in it. Along with its owners.

DogDooDooDance
Get couples to doo doo it together while jigging away to the song “Who Let The Dogs Out”. Woof. Woof.

DogShitBumpsie
Reinserting the brown log back up its dog.

RollerBladeRumpPuddy
In one swift swoop, the poop is scooped.

Picture & Words: Ian Nisbet.

Some Snow Animals

Numerous wondrous creatures were concieved by the ‘Beast from the East’ this weekend.
A most motley medley of snow spawn.

This Faun was laid low by the pale white afternoon sun

Sheep snow 19th March 2018

It looked at me, yawned, stroked its goatee beard, then gave me the cold shoulder.

This Siberian Snow-Snake was slipped out, stone-cold, from under a blue bush.

Snowform 19 19th March 2018

It lay perfectly, powerfully, still.
I had to creep by imitating the silence of a snowflake.

I almost stepped upon this nesting Ice-Owl. It had 3 little owlets (or icelets) frozen solid inside its frosty feathers.

Snowform 14 March 19th 2018

Its cavernous eyes stared at me with icy disdain.
I dared not stare back.

Of course whenever and wherever you go for a walk there’s bound to be
a doggie yelping and yapping towards you

Sure enough, a dog leapt out from a hedge
The infamous Snooowdle
This one had just done a snowpoop.

Snow Peeple 2 March 18th 2018

Fortunately theres no need to pick it up.

Unlike the little shits done by corporeal canines
A snoowdles poo is odourless and entirely harmless.

And, thankfully,┬áit’ll have melted into thin air by tomorrow.
(the poo – and the snoowdle)

Buckfaststein auf den Sheeple

Buckfaststein has its own rare-breed flock of snowy sheep.

Called ‘sheeple’ (Buckfaststein is were the derisory appellation ‘sheeple’ first originated)

Sheeples are not known for being especially deep or articulate conversationalists.

Snowy Sheep March 1st 2018Sheeplish: “Baaaahh! Baaaah!”
(Translation: “Wo ist wee guv?”)

Snowy Sheep 5 March 1st 2018Sheeplish: “Bah! Ba ba Bah!”
(Translation: “Chucken uns feedlies”)

Snowy Sheep 10 March 1st 2018Sheeplish: “Ba….. Ba….. Ba….Blahbla Baaaah!.”
(Translation: “Zis snee ist maken meine vool heavi”)

Snowy sheep March 2018Sheeplish: “Ba…..Ba……B……B…..b…..b…..b!”
(Translation: “O….m….e….i….n…e….. G….o…..t….t!!”)

Snowy sheep 3 March 2018Sheeplish: “Baaah… er…. baaah…. er…. baaah… er…. baaaaahh”
(Translation: “Bum…..er…. diddly…..er…..bum……er….did-diddy”

Snowy Sheep 11 March 1st 2018Sheeplish: “Baaaaah und Baaaaah und Baaaaahhh und BLaaaaahhh!”
(Translation: “Wee… ist….Sheeplisher…..Mensch!…..Helfen….Uns!”