Inspirations

‘I would like to watch you sleeping’

Haze heard this poem of Margaret Attwoods read a couple of Sundays ago on radio 4 (a programme called ‘Something Understood’) She was so taken with it she wrote it out for me. I asked her to illustrate the right hand side of it. Which she’s done with some bindy Celtic scrolls.

Beautiful! Both the poem, and Haze’s illustrative version of it.

Illustrated poem edit

Poem: Margaret Attwood; Calligraphy and Illustration: Hazel Brown

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Have Camera, Will Look, This Seen

An adaptation of the obscure indications Eric Satie gave to pianists playing his pieces “The Gnossiennes (writes Ian). Its all about trying to misdirect your perception to look “elsewhere”.

“Provide yourself with confusion”
Unnoun Knowns. Thrash Facts. Shred Thens. Begin with Ends.

“The unturned corner”
You didn’t dare turn. But now you do.

“Be back to front”
As a right to left.
Wipe away wrong. Rub off right.
Pick up what is over the top.

Be prepared to drop.

“Open handedness”
Palm as landing,
Finger is launching
Point forwarding
Click click click click

“Bumbly as a Bee”
Bumbly. Bum. bly. Being. A Bee.
Alighting. Delighting.

With feeting.

“Lingeringly”
Press pause.
Wait. As long as.
Inbetween.
As far as.
Resume play.

“To the Honey”
In Flowerment.
Nectar-tentative.
Gracious. Greeting

“Being Bottle”
Step toward.
What cacks.
Yours pants.

“Surreptiously”
Seeing. Unseen.
Hid hunter.
Zoom in.
Capture. This.
Meaty moment.

“Dance an inner jiggle”
Without moving a muscle. Feel unsweatily, hormonally, moved.

“Very foolish”
Sat on the toilet is you.
Farty pants. Remember?

“Like a cat with a dream”
Daft face. Oblivious. Stuck stuffed out tongue. Lapel it.

“Last Look”
At the duck.
But
Go back.

– Written by Ian Nisbet

Bats in The Moon

We were walking above the bay at Babbacombe tonight (writes Ian)

Just as it was getting ‘dimpsy’ several pipistrelle bats came out to play, darting and diving around our heads.

I tried filming them flying across the moon. But the sky was too dark in that direction.

‘It’s magical!’ exclaims Haze. And she was right. It was.

(Video: Ian Nisbet)

Agaetis Byrjun

Listening to Agaetis Byrjun …. beautiful (Hazel)

Title track . . “With everything we have for the day . . . we sit down excited . . “

I played it on repeat for about 3 days once! . . . (Ian)

….. All morning…. Jonsi..  has been helping me with large this abstract…. (Hazel)

“With everything i have for the day . . . I sit down excited” . . .

….. And create a big beautiful masterpiece! . . . Make that paint sing! . . (Ian)

“I shall always be yours in the wood”

Hazel: I began reading D H Lawrence when I was 14; he was my absent educator, my fictitious lover.

He spoke both to my body and soul; that ‘fire’, that ‘spark of nature, his lust for life and sensuality resonated with me. I felt I had found a true soul mate – if only in literature. I had been feeling strong stirrings of my own sexuality since I was about 11/12 yrs; such a passionate, fiery child on the inside – though a thin, blond haired waif on the outside – so no one ever guessed just how fiercely I burned, how I percieved the rest of humanity.

I felt he was speaking for me….who did not have a voice…..

@

Ian: I got well into Lady C last night; in chapters 9 and 10 I had to slow my reading right down so as to read every single word in every single sentence, so as to be there with the pair of them; and the great thing about Lawrence is he can get you there, on the outside and deeply inside – as if you were experiencing WITH, not just reading ABOUT; but you have to pay as much attention as he is to every detail of the present he is laying out before you. Its like you become aware inside this awareness of his characters, as if you actually become them, get transferred or transformed into them.

To really read Lawrence I feel I have to up the intensity level in my imagination to a very high concentration; otherwise I don’t engage with the whole experience, the full richness.

@

Hazel: Reading Lawrence is re-affirming my own sense of self, re-activating that life force which can get rather fogged by all we have to deal with in the ‘outside ‘ world.

@

Ian: Lady C’s Lover isn’t obscene at all is it? He does get onto an OTT wave of purple rapture, which can seem too much; but thats only because he was passionate about life, about his life, about his one and only wild and wonderful life, all too soon too quickly over.

So i can forgive him all his excess and his soap-box preachiness because he continues to open our minds and our hearts, and our little John Thomas’s and Lady Janes even now.

You feel better for reading him than not reading him, well i know i do, and thats all that counts.

@

Hazel: Yes, you do feel better for reading him. He brings such insights and riches.

He said. ” I love wild things…almost to foolishness.”

@

Here is the 1993 televised version of Ken Russell’s ‘Lady Chatterley

Sean Bean as Gamekeeper Mellors is a revelation (Joely Richardson as Lady C is pretty good too)

Hazel and I watched it on Youtube tonight.

…”I adore that hut”….. (texts Hazel)

……”Its great watching it together Haze…” (texts Ian)

……”It is!…..I love our…Lawrence connexxion…….and this film……says it all…although I want to say so much more………” (texts Hazel)

“I shall always be yours in the wood”….. (says Sean B to Lady C)

A wood is a wonderful place to be.

Day of 3 Coinicidences

Email sent on 3rd December by Hazel to Ian

Hi…….MacNiss…….
Well…you’re not going to believe this…. what’s happened today…. well, perhaps you will…. but it has just been too weird….. you’re the only person I can tell really… because it does relate to you ….and me ….so I have to share it with you ….or I’ll burst…… (messy)…

The first event…(there were three)…. Before waking this morning… very early… I was dreaming about texting….. probably because I had been texting.. last night… with you..before I fell asleep….. so when I woke up……. R4 was .. blahing out the news.. and the reader suddenly said…. (as if he had read my mind) …..”It was 22 years ago today, the frist text was sent….blah blah…”

I got up made tea and smiled at this coincidence ….

Got back into bed… switched to R4 Extra…… where… at that EXACT moment…… Cat Stevens was there …singing …..’If you want to sing out, sing out…..’ I went cold and nearly spat out my tea…… I haven’t heard that song for years and years …. now it’s… zinging up everywhere … another coincidence ???

Soo… I decided to ignore your advice about going into town.and getting killed ……..and went anyway …….. had to risk life and limb to go buy “stuff”…… but then ran to the sea.. well, the harbour….. where I sat sipping sea… and buttering breezes…. in gloriously warm sunshine for over an hour…. pulling off scarves and gloves…because it WAS soo hot…….was too.!!

I felt delishuuushly …. absent and ….joyfully….. lost…. gazing up at an amazing  …clear blue sky …… and dreaming about nothing …….. I didn’t want to leave….

Ok.. had to….. so got the bus back… was walking homeward…… past the church… and the tall trees…. when quite suddenly …. a great .. whooosh of sound above me… and there … wheeling and chattering ….. were hundreds and hundreds …. I’m not kidding you ……. of starlings …. just overhead…. I had to stop …. other peole too … were staring up at the sight ….  all completely spell-bound ….. a huge black cloud..

‘The Murmuration’ …….. just as I’d seen it in my imagination last night.. and you…. me … talking about it ……. but then, as I walked on down the hill … they followed …… swarming from one side of the road to the other …… then halting … coming to rest in the tall trees …… then swooping off again ….. in this enormous black cloud ……. by this time I had tears ……. the emotion of it all was so powerful …… and to experience …all three …’coincidences’…. in one day ……..I  felt.. like.something …. amazing …. had happened, and was pounding away in both my body and mind …

Please tell me this is not….. a usual day ……. everything …. felt weird today … but ….. completely full of JOY !