Inspirations

The Two Daily Prayers

There are 2 prayers to be said every day in front of the bathroom mirror

The morning prayer of “Zowieeee!”…… For the day about to begin.

The evening prayer of  “Fankyooverimooch!”….. for the day thats been ended.

So sez …. our Les…. The Holy Daily Dawson…..

Agaetis Byrjun

Listening to Agaetis Byrjun …. beautiful (Hazel)

Title track . . “With everything we have for the day . . . we sit down excited . . “

I played it on repeat for about 3 days once! . . . (Ian)

….. All morning…. Jonsi..  has been helping me with large this abstract…. (Hazel)

“With everything i have for the day . . . I sit down excited” . . .

….. And create a big beautiful masterpiece! . . . Make that paint sing! . . (Ian)

“I shall always be yours in the wood”

Hazel: I began reading D H Lawrence when I was 14; he was my absent educator, my fictitious lover.

He spoke both to my body and soul; that ‘fire’, that ‘spark of nature, his lust for life and sensuality resonated with me. I felt I had found a true soul mate – if only in literature. I had been feeling strong stirrings of my own sexuality since I was about 11/12 yrs; such a passionate, fiery child on the inside – though a thin, blond haired waif on the outside – so no one ever guessed just how fiercely I burned, how I percieved the rest of humanity.

I felt he was speaking for me….who did not have a voice…..

@

Ian: I got well into Lady C last night; in chapters 9 and 10 I had to slow my reading right down so as to read every single word in every single sentence, so as to be there with the pair of them; and the great thing about Lawrence is he can get you there, on the outside and deeply inside – as if you were experiencing WITH, not just reading ABOUT; but you have to pay as much attention as he is to every detail of the present he is laying out before you. Its like you become aware inside this awareness of his characters, as if you actually become them, get transferred or transformed into them.

To really read Lawrence I feel I have to up the intensity level in my imagination to a very high concentration; otherwise I don’t engage with the whole experience, the full richness.

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Hazel: Reading Lawrence is re-affirming my own sense of self, re-activating that life force which can get rather fogged by all we have to deal with in the ‘outside ‘ world.

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Ian: Lady C’s Lover isn’t obscene at all is it? He does get onto an OTT wave of purple rapture, which can seem too much; but thats only because he was passionate about life, about his life, about his one and only wild and wonderful life, all too soon too quickly over.

So i can forgive him all his excess and his soap-box preachiness because he continues to open our minds and our hearts, and our little John Thomas’s and Lady Janes even now.

You feel better for reading him than not reading him, well i know i do, and thats all that counts.

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Hazel: Yes, you do feel better for reading him. He brings such insights and riches.

He said. ” I love wild things…almost to foolishness.”

@

Here is the 1993 televised version of Ken Russell’s ‘Lady Chatterley

Sean Bean as Gamekeeper Mellors is a revelation (Joely Richardson as Lady C is pretty good too)

Hazel and I watched it on Youtube tonight.

…”I adore that hut”….. (texts Hazel)

……”Its great watching it together Haze…” (texts Ian)

……”It is!…..I love our…Lawrence connexxion…….and this film……says it all…although I want to say so much more………” (texts Hazel)

“I shall always be yours in the wood”….. (says Sean B to Lady C)

A wood is a wonderful place to be.

Day of 3 Coinicidences

Email sent on 3rd December by Hazel to Ian

Hi…….MacNiss…….
Well…you’re not going to believe this…. what’s happened today…. well, perhaps you will…. but it has just been too weird….. you’re the only person I can tell really… because it does relate to you ….and me ….so I have to share it with you ….or I’ll burst…… (messy)…

The first event…(there were three)…. Before waking this morning… very early… I was dreaming about texting….. probably because I had been texting.. last night… with you..before I fell asleep….. so when I woke up……. R4 was .. blahing out the news.. and the reader suddenly said…. (as if he had read my mind) …..”It was 22 years ago today, the frist text was sent….blah blah…”

I got up made tea and smiled at this coincidence ….

Got back into bed… switched to R4 Extra…… where… at that EXACT moment…… Cat Stevens was there …singing …..’If you want to sing out, sing out…..’ I went cold and nearly spat out my tea…… I haven’t heard that song for years and years …. now it’s… zinging up everywhere … another coincidence ???

Soo… I decided to ignore your advice about going into town.and getting killed ……..and went anyway …….. had to risk life and limb to go buy “stuff”…… but then ran to the sea.. well, the harbour….. where I sat sipping sea… and buttering breezes…. in gloriously warm sunshine for over an hour…. pulling off scarves and gloves…because it WAS soo hot…….was too.!!

I felt delishuuushly …. absent and ….joyfully….. lost…. gazing up at an amazing  …clear blue sky …… and dreaming about nothing …….. I didn’t want to leave….

Ok.. had to….. so got the bus back… was walking homeward…… past the church… and the tall trees…. when quite suddenly …. a great .. whooosh of sound above me… and there … wheeling and chattering ….. were hundreds and hundreds …. I’m not kidding you ……. of starlings …. just overhead…. I had to stop …. other peole too … were staring up at the sight ….  all completely spell-bound ….. a huge black cloud..

‘The Murmuration’ …….. just as I’d seen it in my imagination last night.. and you…. me … talking about it ……. but then, as I walked on down the hill … they followed …… swarming from one side of the road to the other …… then halting … coming to rest in the tall trees …… then swooping off again ….. in this enormous black cloud ……. by this time I had tears ……. the emotion of it all was so powerful …… and to experience …all three …’coincidences’…. in one day ……..I  felt.. like.something …. amazing …. had happened, and was pounding away in both my body and mind …

Please tell me this is not….. a usual day ……. everything …. felt weird today … but ….. completely full of JOY !

If you want to sing out – sing out!

I (Ian) sent Hazel a YouTube link to the 1971 cult film ‘Harold and Maude’ a few days ago.

Here is Hazel’s response

I set myself to watch the film again …. there are many levels to it …….  brought up alot of…. ‘stuff’…as they say….for me…….

Realised i have alot in common with Maude too……

I drive like her for one thing…..
Love life….and find delight…..in everything…..well almost everything……
Incorporate the pain of the past into the joys of ‘now’….. but still get ‘stung’ occasionally….
Being crazy……and not minding….
I liked….”It’s best not to be too moral….you miss so much in life….”
‘Fighting for the big issues….in a small individual way……
Sharing happiness…… with anyone who is open to receive it……
Not lying about my age…..celebrating it….and accepting it…gracefully……

I (Ian replied)
‘Yes i picked up on that line too….”Its best to not be too moral…. otherwise you miss so much of life…”….

Not straightjacket life in beliefs … of a too strictly fundamentalist “religious” nature …..

I mean if Maude (or you) (or me) want to bing a bong…. lets do it!….

Might lead to some very colourful creations!

It lead to Haze drawing some colourful Maud pictures. And then it lead to me putting them together in this little vid. We kind of binged our bong (in our own inimitable way)

Reasons To Be Cheerful ….. (Part 37)

All those little moments that make memories….

Walking towards the ringing of faraway church bells . .(Ian)
Watching the waves crash onto rocks..(Hazel)
Holding a babies warm little fingers (Ian)
Laughing with friends. …. (Hazel)
Toast crumbs im the bed! (Ian)
Big warm close hugs. ….that feeling of being enveloped against a rough wool coat. …. (Hazel)
The smell of strong coffee on a cold winter day (Ian)
Snuggling under the duvet on a freezing cold winter night. …..(Hazel)
A donkeys big ears (Ian)
Looking out on the first snowfall,early on a winter morning when the world has an eerie stillness n silence. …. (Hazel)
Cold plums straight out the fridge . . (Ian)
The smell of steam trains. .. (Hazel)
Waiting for the train . . (Ian)
Anticipation. ….pulling out of a station. ….beginning the journey. …..(Hazel)
Getting lost in strange places (Ian)
Streets. ..steps. .and alleyways. ….smells. …and heat. ….half heard conversations……. (Hazel)
Wearing a pair of beautiful new shoes (Ian)
Lying on hot sand ….eyes closed. ….hearing. …the waves. (Hazel)
The taste of sun burnt skin after a day on the beach (Ian)
The smell of old summerhouses and dusty sheds.. …. (Hazel)
The sound of ball clacking against willow (Ian)
A good film. ….that leaves it’s imprint for hours and. ..days (Hazel)
Old men whistling in their allotments (Ian)
Opening an ancient.. .book. ..the crinkle of pages. … (Hazel)
Ticking of clocks. …. (Hazel)
Standing in a wood. …a silence that isn’t silent..(Hazel)
Foraging for mushrooms in old forests (Ian)
Foraging for toadstool houses and faeries… (Hazel)
Jam sandwiches! (Ian)
Jam damson sandwiches (Hazel)
The next cup of tea (Ian)
That you’re going to make…..! (Hazel)

………. To be continued………

Mr Turner

Hazel writes: I couldn’t wait to get back home to tell you about the film……. haven’t long been back..only took us 30 mins to whizz down the motorway …… but was starving ….  so just had to woolf down … baked beans on toast with a fried egg on top …… all done now….

The….  film….. my first thoughts were …”Charming”….. characters were… well thought out…. little characatures of people in his life…. or should I say… larger than life ………he was superb… T. Spall…. moments of sweetness … and solitude ……. his thoughts on nature… all rang huge bells for me ….. he WAS a true artist.. a genius …. well they were all excellant ….. I was totally absorbed throughout the whole thing ……  but then I do get ‘taken over’ by films…..

At the end…. a person sitting next to me …. turned to his partner/wife ….. and said ……”what was that all about? …. what a waste of money ….. don’t know anything about him anyway.” …. I had to bite my tongue Ian ….. and restrain myself…. .

If you can….PLEASE….go see it at the Picture house….it does require a big screen….. it’s still buzzing around in my head….

All Things Already Rest

I heard a Buddhist monk giving a talk about this Rilke poem once (writes Ian).

Its a short poem, only 11 lines, but he managed to distil dharmic essence out of every line.

Its one of Rilke’s Sonnets to Orpheus but I know it as ‘All Things Already Rest’.

There are various translations of it but this is the one I’m familiar with (by Stephen Mitchell)

We are the driven ones
Ah, but the step of time
Think of it as a dream in what always remains
All that is hurrying on will soon be over with
Only what lasts can bring us to the truth
Young man, do not put your trust
into the trials of flight
into the hot and the quick
All things already rest
Darkness and morning light
Flower and book

I’ve changed one word: ‘driving’ to driven to mean something like we are all being driven by circumstances beyond our control, compelled by hidden forces beyond our conscious and rational reach.

We think we are driving our lifes. Driving them on and on, propelling them forever forward.. But are we? Really?

Because all things already rest. Are already given. In every single moment. That is Here. That is Now.

Of Moon Elves & Cloud-Selves

I’ve lifted these ‘stills’ from the vid clips of the supermoon i shot last night (writes Ian). Not that they were still exactly. They kept mutating and morphing.

The moon is a magical mistress, playing tricks on our imaginations. We see ambiguous figures and fantastical forms. We see figments of faces.

moon-elf-old-man-2What does it look like to you? Something out of a Grimms Fairytale perhaps. But whats it doing stuck up there on a cloud in the middle of the night?

And what is this meant to be? An oriental moon-cat?

moon-elf-lion-manAnd this, well this is a medieval muppet obviously. Grisling right up into the face of his somnolent sleeping companion

moon-muppet-elfEverywhere in this mushroom moon cloud are eyes staring out

Looking to somewhere I don’t know, into the Betwixt or the Beyond.

moon-elf-staring-eyes-no-mouthLooking bereft, forlorn, looking lost and haunted.

This man just looks like he’s had enough, looks nonplussed, about to expire his last clouded breath.

moon-elf-open-mouthed-2So many faces, effigy-like, packed together in this moon of cloud

How many can you see bundled together here?

many-moon-elves-3I got to about 12 (or possibly 14)

Here is how I ended the film: with the Main Moon Man

supermoon-elf-2So all these images are within the realms of fantasy, they’re dream-like grotesques and cartoons.

But now we’re getting onto something which feels, well – spooky.

She’s disturbing me this little girl

moon-childSat on her cloud like little Miss Tuffet

This image is perhaps the most perturbing of all.

moon-elf-with-woman-lying-underThat is a mans face. That is a womans face. They are – or were – human beings right? That woman looks like she could be in a photograph (not up in a cloud)

This is all very strange. I can hardly believe what I’m seeing.

Maybe I haven’t really seen any of this. Maybe it was just moon cloud clowning about in the camera.

Supermoon me

A second supermoon to follow the supermoon of last month.

So I’m filming again (through the kitchen window) At midnight I’ve gone out to film from under the silver birches. And then over by the car park through the sturdy beeches.

A soft pillow of cotton cloud has appeared, hung there like a giant mushroom ball. Zooming the camera in I see half formed faces and figures, I see ghostly apparitions, I see ‘moon-elves’.

It feels like this super moon has come to meet me this time.

It feels like the moon is in me, is for me. Close and personal. Intimate and revealing.

When I load vid clips onto the laptop I’m astonished by what I see, amazed.

This film reflects my astonishment. My amazement.

(Video: Ian Nisbet)

I’m perturbed, yes. I’m perplexed, yes.

But I’m also strangely comforted.

We are being watched. We are being seen (by what we don’t see)  We are being known (by what we don’t know)

We are not alone!